it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
