marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
