I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
