I don't remember. Are we still dating?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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