I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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