My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
