I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
