Having a random hookup so left but love u
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
