it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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