Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
