I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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