Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
