i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
