why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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