Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
