I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
