Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
