in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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