Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
