No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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