the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
