On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have aggressive nipples.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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