I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Found your dick twin last night
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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