I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up under a house in Key West
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