I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
