We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I have fence marks all over my body
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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