I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
