i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
