This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
