I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
