Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Help me help you realize you are a moron
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
