my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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