No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
