I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he shaved USA in his pubs
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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