I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
