lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
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