dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
