Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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