Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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