Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize
