Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry fightinirish7 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(303): View more from Colorado

The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.

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(765): View more from Indiana

You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged

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(917): View more from New York City

He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.

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(951): View more from California

We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.

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(214): View more from Texas

What do you think it is?

(615): View more from Tennessee

It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

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(281): View more from Texas

Dinner?

(713): View more from Texas

YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...

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(530): View more from California

Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.

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(229): View more from Georgia

someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..

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