Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
