Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad

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(503): View more from Oregon

and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.

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(631): View more from New York

You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS

(808): View more from Hawaii

That's me emphasizing the ridiculous

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(416): View more from Toronto

If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?

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