man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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