good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You made out with two different species that night
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
