Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
