he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize