Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
