I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
