i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
