Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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