ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
