She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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